


Angel Watching Over You

by Winchesterville



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-20
Updated: 2013-06-01
Packaged: 2017-12-12 10:40:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/810654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchesterville/pseuds/Winchesterville
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas does the only thing he can to save Sam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. As I Lay Me Down To Sleep

The door slammed shut, shaking the windows of the motel room as Dean walked out. The sound was like a punch to Sam's gut. Dean was gone. Sam listened as the roar of the Impala as it came to life and then sped out of the motel parking lot. Dean was gone and this time, he wasn't coming back. The reality hit Sam like a sucker punch and he stumbled back.

"Dean!" His brother's name left his lips in a rush of anger and begging, the invisible knife in his stomach sending him to his knees. He had finally done it. Pushed Dean so far away that he couldn't find his way back. He knew this day would come eventually he just didn't expect it to hurt like this. Not like he was having his soul ripped out. And he most definitely didn't expect to have these feelings. Once upon a time, Dean had been the only thing keeping Sam going. His love for his brother, the only link to life he had. Now that link was severed for good, destroyed completely by the demon blood coursing through Sam's veins, no matter how much he denied it. Dean would never forgive him for what he was.

Mints turned into hours, which turned into days. A week later, Dean still hadn't come back to the hotel where he'd left Sam. Sam drank mostly and when he wasn't drinking he was working with Ruby, though he refused to leave the hotel in hopes that his big brother would still come back. It was obvious that Sam Winchester was slowly breaking with his brother and ot even Ruby could fix that. The entire time Castiel was sitting in the corner of the room, watching as days passed, though those days felt like only minutes to an angel. Finally, the angel could take it no longer. He had to do something. Ruby had left hours ago, leaving Sam alone again. With the flap of an angels wing, Castiel made himself visible to the Winchester who was now curled up on the hotel bed, one of the small viles of blood held tight in his head. Castiel felt his stomach clentch. He could feel the position of the demon blood coursing through Sam Winchester's viens. He knew what would become of Sam if he wasn't able to stop him. But he had to try right? Carefully, Castiel eased himself over to the bed, peering down at Sam.

"Dean isn't here Cas." The youngest Winchester growled.

"I'm not here for Dean." Castiel stated peering down at the boy. "I'm here for you."

"What do you want?" Sam snapped, not even looking up at the angel. Castiel sighed and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm here to help you Samuel." He stated, his voice it's usual passiveness.

"I don't need help." Sam growled, finally turning angry green eyes on Castiel.

"Yes you do and you know it." Castiel stated, sighing softly, hunching over a little as he peered down at the other man.

"There's nothing I can do Cas." Sam replied, his voice flat.

"You know what you need to do." Castiel told him.

"Dean's gone Cas. It's too late. I don't have anything else to live for." Sam breathed.

"Dean is not all you have. I'm here Samuel." Castiel replied softly, reaching over and pulling Sam's hand into his on. "You have me."

"Your suppose to be with Dean." Sam replied, shaking his head.

"Dean is not the one who needs my help." Castiel stated, slowly rubbing circles into the back of Sam's knuckles. He could feel the slight shakes of Sam's hand beneath his own. Castiel sighed. "I can help you Samuel, but only if you'll let me." He stated, his voice almost pleading.

"I don't anything left to fight for Cas," Sam argued. Castiel sighed.

"YEs you do Samuel. You have Dean, I can help you earn his trust back," Castiel stated. "You know what you have to do."

"I can't Cas. It's all I have left." Sam hissed, knowing exactly what Cas was getting at.

"No it's not Samuel." The angel sighed, "It's going to kill you if you don't stop." Castiel felt Sam cringe at the words beneath his touch. Sam knew they were true, he just didn't want to believe it.

"I'm scared Cas." Sam breathed, his voice hitching slightly.

"Let me help you," Cas pleaded. He carefully moved, laying down beside the youngest Winchester, wrapping an arm around him. "I can make you strong Sam. Stronger then Ruby ever imagined. We can take out Lillith and Ruby. Together. You, Dean and I." Castel pleaded.

"Y-you swear?" Sam breathed, still shaking underneath the angel. Castiel nodded.

"I promise Sam." He murmured softly. "I can give you everything you want Sam. Everything." The angel repeated, gently pressing his lips to the back of Sam Winchester's neck where they lay. He felt Sam freeze underneath him.

"What are you doing Cas?" Sam asked, his voice half afraid, half moaning with longing. Cas just smiled.

"I know Samuel," He whispered softly, his lips still against Sam's warm skin. "I Know the way you feel about me, the things you imagine us doing together."

"Y-you know?" Sam asked, voice shaking slightly.

"I do," He murmured softly. "And Sam, I want it to. I do." At his words, Sam moved, positioning himself so that he was under Cas.

"Your lying." The younger man breathed. "Your just saying that." Cas shook his head, pressing his lips to Sam's cheek this time, close to his lips, gently rolling his hips into Sam's.

"No Samuel, I'm not. I have wanted you for a long time." He murmured softly. "But I can't be with you like this Sam. Not when your so twisted, so...turned." Castiel frowned at his own words. "I use to be able to feel the hope inside you Samuel. But now I can't even feel that. The demon blood has taken it. It has morphed you into something I no longer recongize. I just want my Sam back, the Sam that I fell in love with."

"I-I don't know if I can be that Sam again," Sam whispered, his voice choking as he spoke.

"You can, just let me save you Samuel." Castiel whispered, finally pressing their lips together. "Let me help you Sam and we can be together."

"Y-you promise?" Same asked, peering up at the angel, his hazel green eyes full of fear. Cas nodded and gently pressed their lips together.

"I promise." He whispered softly. Sam's hand shook as his hand found Castiel's, pressing the small vile into the palm of the angel's hand.

"Take it. Before I change my mind." Sam pleaded. Cas gently took the bottle from Sam and with the snap of his fingers, the vile of blood was gone.

"You did good Samuel," Cas murmured, his lips finding Sam's once more. Sam didn't respond, his arms wrapping around Cas as they kissed. Soon Castiel's trench coat was off, then his tie, then his shirt. Sam groaned, his hands running over the naked angel's chest. Castiel shivered underneath Sam's touches, moaning softly, gently rolling his hips into Sam's. Sam did the same, rolling his hips in turn. His hands found the hem of Castiel's pants and soon they were off as well as Castiel's boxers. Cas kicked off his boots and socks before starting to undress Sam. Soon enough, Sam was naked beneath the angel. Castiel pulled back, taking in Sam's figure before letting out a soft moan. He leaned forward, pressing their lips together. Sam groaned, wrapping one long leg around the angels waist, pressing him closer.

"C-cas have you-?" Sam stammered, unable to finish the question.

"No, I haven't." Cas replied back softly, "But I want to, with you." Cas added gently. Sam nodded slightly, pressing his lips to Castiel's before gently flipping them over. Castiel made a grunting noise before reuniting their lips together. Sam's hands slowly explored every inch of the angel's finely curved chest and lower until he reached Castiel's length, his hand wrapping firmly around it, drawing a moan from the other man's lips. Sam smiled at the sound, slowly starting to pump the angel. Sam smiled, watching as Castiel's eyes slid shut and his head tilted back. Sam bent down, pressing his lips to the curve of Castiel's neck. Castiel groaned, spurring Sam to move faster as he sucked lightly on the crook of Castiel's neck, nipping and sucking at the skin.

Finally Sam pulled back, stopping his motions, smirking a little at the whimper that drew from Castiel's lips as he stopped. Sam smiled, crawling down Castiel's body until his lips met Castiel's hardened length. He flicked his tongue along the head, enjoying the gaspe the movement cause as he repeated it twice more before taking Castiel fully into his mouth. Castiel groaned, his hips bucking lightly. Sam placed his hands firmly on them to keep them still as his head slowly began to bob up and down. Castiel's hands curled into the long locks of the youngest Winchester as he moaned out Sam's name in one long syllable and a few seconds later, Castiel came into Sam's mouth. Sam groaned, swallowing the juices before pulling back to lick his lips.

Sam smiled, panting lightly as he crawled back up the angel's body, pressing their lips together once more.

"S-so good," Castiel breathed against Sam's lips as they melted into each other. Sam just hummed lightly, curling his arms around Castiel.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." Sam said, grinning as he kissed the angel's lips, his angel's lips.

"I did, very much so." Castiel replied, smiling up at him.

"Good." Sam murmured, pressing his lips to Castiel's forehead before nuzzling his nose into the crook of Castiel's neck.

"S-sam?" The angel murmured softly, peering at the youngest WInchester.

"Yeah?" Sam asked, pulling his head up so he could talk to Cas. Castiel didn't reply for a moment as he peered up at Sam.

"I-I want you," The angel whispered, blushing slightly. Sam chuckled softly.

"You have me Cas." Sam murmured, pecking his angel's lips.

"No, I mean...I-I want you...inside me." Cas replied, his cheeks turning even redder. Sam pulled back a little, looking down at him.

"Are you sure Cas?" He asked softly, biting his lip as he looked over the angel.

"I'm sure Sam, I trust you." Castiel replied, nodding lightly. Sam bent down, pressing their lips together.

"I'll be gentle," Sam whispered softly and Castiel nodded slightly. "I know." He replied, smiling at Sam. Sam pulled back, making them both comfortable on the bed. He took his fingers into his own mouth, wetting them lightly before gently pushing them inside Castiel. The angel moaned slightly, his face scrunching up a little. Sam bent down, pressing their lips together as he gently started to push in and out of Castiel. A few seconds later, Cas was calm. Sam smiled, cradling his angel with one arm as he pushed his fingers in and out of Castiel. As soon as he was sure that Castiel was stretched enough, Sam pulled back, spitting into the palm of his before starting to stroke himself, using his own spit as lube. Sam watched Castiel's face, a mix of uncertainty and wanting as he watched Sam. When Sam was ready, he positioned himself against Castiel's hole, looking down at him.

"You sure about this?" He asked gently. Castiel nodded, giving Sam a weak smile. Sam bent down, pressing their lips together before thrusting into Castiel, spurring a moan from both men. Sam shuddered with the entrance, groaning at the tightness of Cas. He stayed still long enough to make sure Cas was properly adjusted before setting up a slow, easy pace inside his angel. He watched Castiel's face as it displayed an array of emotions from pain to pure pleasure. after a while, Sam sped us his pace, listening to Castiel's moans of pleasure grow louder with his thrusts. Sam let out a groan himself, clinging to Castiel as they moved together, both panting heavily, filling the room with each other's names over and over. It was pure bliss to Sam.

Sam reached between them, tugging at Castiel's erection, the pump of his hand matching his thrust inside Cas. A few more strokes, and a few more thrusts and both angel and hunter came at the same time, crying out each other's name until Sam collapsed on top of Castiel, panting heavily and covered in a light layer of sweat that matched Castiel's own skin. He grinned, pressing their lips together in a hard, passionate kiss before pulling out and falling onto the bed beside Cas panting heavily, pulling his angel into his arms, pressing their foreheads together, revealing in the pure happiness of the moment.


	2. As I Lay Me Down To Sleep Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Cas and Sam.

Sam relaxed, his arm resting behind his head as he held his angelic lover in his arms, Cas's nose nuzzling against the crook of his neck. Sam sighed contently.

"T-that was amazing," He breathed, once his heart had managed to catch up with the rest of his body.

"Hm, it was...incredible," Castiel agreed, placing a light kiss to Sam's neck.

"Why didn't you ever tell me the truth?" Sam asked, peering down at him.

"Because I was afraid to." Cas replied, running one finger tip along Sam's chest, causing Sam to shiver. "No offense Samuel, but you are an abomination." Sam sighed.

"Which makes me wonder how you even love me in the first place," Sam murmured, more to himself then Cas, but Cas answered anyway.

"Because despite being what you are, despite everything, you have always had faith. You have always wanted to do the right thing, no matter how misguided that might be." Castiel murmured, kissing Sam on the cheek, rather closer to the lips making Sam smile.

"It's been a long time since I've had faith in anything." Sam murmured softly, staring at the ceiling.

"Do you have faith in me?" Cas asked, peering into Sam's green orbs. Sam blinked down at him.

"Of course I do," He murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of Castiel's head.

"Then that's good enough for me." Castiel murmured, giving him another kiss before resting his head on Sam's shoulder. Sam grinned.

"Just one more thing to do," Sam murmured, sighing softly.

"What's that?" Cas asked curiously, though Sam didn't answer. Instead he squirmed a little until he found his cell phone and hummed, pulling it open and pressing a number.

"Hey Ruby," He answered once she did, "Everything's fine. Yeah, yeah, it's cool. I think I might have a lead on Lillith, I wanted to give you a heads up. Yeah, it can wait until morning, I haven't slept in days." He stated. "Later." He mumbled. into the receiver and tossed the phone aside.

"Your going to kill her?" Castiel asked, his voice it's usual passiveness as he peered at Sam who nodded.

"If I don't, she'll never leave me alone." Sam replied softly. "And I don't want to screw this up." Castiel nodded.

"You won't," He murmured lightly, nuzzling Sam who just smiled.

"I'm glad you have so much faith in me." Sam murmured.

"I always have," Cas replied softly, pecking Sam's lips. Sam hummed and kissed him back. And that was how they spent the rest of the night, making love to each other, sometimes talking, sometimes just holding each other until hours before morning when Sam finally fell asleep. Some hours later, Sam stirred to the feel of Castiel's hand stroking his hair. He moaned softly and curled into Cas.

"Morning." He mumbled softly.

"Morning handsome," Cas returned, kissing Sam's forehead, making Sam smile. Just then there was a loud bang on the door, making both Sam and Castiel jump.

"It's Dean," Cas stated a moment before he heard Dean's voice on the other end of the door.

"Sammy, open up damn it." Dean growled.

"Give me a sec," Sam called back, finding his jeans and sliding them on, while Cas did the same. Once they were both dressed, Sam opened the door letting Dean inside.

"We need to talk," Dean started before looking at Cas. "What the hell are you doing here, half naked?" He demanded.

"I-ah, Sam?" Cas asked, looking nervously at Sam.

"Cas and I were together last night." Sam stated easily, moving over to stand beside Cas, staring at a shocked faced Dean.

"You...you what?" Dean demanded, once he found his voice. Sam started to reply but Dean stopped him. "First you start banging a demon. A demon Sam and then suddenly your banging our angel? What the hell is going on in that head of yours?"

"I never touched Ruby," Sam growled, glaring at Dean.

"He's telling the truth Dean," Cas replied, finding Sam's hand and giving it a comforting squeeze.

"And your right .We do need to talk." Sam murmured, "I'm..I'm giving up demon blood Dean." Sam said nervously, looking down at Cas he spoke. "I'm gonna kill Ruby and I'm gonna get clean." He said nodding. Dean just stared between Cas and Sam, unsure what to say.

"Sam, I've been begging you for weeks to give this up," Dean breathed, 'I've been telling you from the beginning how bad you are and suddenly you bang an angel and everything's right?" Dean demanded.

"Dean stop acting like a child," Sam stated, glaring at Dean.

"Dean calm down," Cas started, standing up and in front of Sam. "You did convince your brother to give up the blood. He would have done it to get you back, I just gave him more...encouragement."

"So you seduced my brother to get him clean?" Dean asked trying to understand. "Cas I know you want to help, but I'm not quiet sure that's how it works."

"I never lied to your brother Dean. I love him. I have for a long time." Cas replied. "When I saw him so broken after you left, I couldn't let him feel that pain." Cas murmured, peering up at Sam who just smiled back.

"O-okay. So what about Ruby?" Dean asked, trying to take all of this in. "I Mean, what, your...strictly into dudes now?" He asked, making Sam laugh. "What about Jessica?"

"I've always liked guys. Jessice was just...she was different." Sam said, shrugging. "As for Ruby, She's on her way. I'm going to take care of her Dean." Sam said, promising. Dean nodded, still looking between them with shock as he stared at Cas, but after a minute, he finally seemed to come to.

"Alright. What's the plan?"


	3. I Pray To Castiel my Love to Take

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby's Death

A half an hour later, there was a knock on Sam's hotel door room. Sam stood up from his chair and moved to answer the door, forcing a smile when he saw Ruby.

"Hey," He said, stepping aside to let Ruby in.

"What's the lead?" She demanded without a greeting as she pushed her way into the room. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Actually, there's no lead." He replied easily, shutting the door behind him.

"What? Then why the hell did you call me here?" Ruby demanded. "Sam we need leads, not booty calls."

"I don't want your ass." Sam replied, "Made that clear from the beginning. "

"Then what's going on?" Ruby demanded.

"Your gonna die bitch." Dean said, a little to happily as he and Castiel stepped from the shadow.

"Sam, what's he doing here?" Ruby demanded, stepping towards Sam. Sam didn't respond, pushing Ruby forward.

"I'm done with you." Sam informed her coldy.

"Sam tell me what the hell's going on!" She demanded, peering up at him. Once more, Sam said nothing, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her against his chest.

"Now Dean," Sam ordered, clinging to the struggling demon in his arms. Without hesitation Dean started the Latin incantation for exercisms. Ruby shrieked and struggled in his arms.

"Sam you need me!" She shouted above Dean's words. Sam didn't answer, struggling to hold on to her. Without hesitating, she drew a nail along her pale skin and   
Sam sucked in a breathe at the scent of her blood.

"You need me Sam, I make you stronger," Ruby continued on. Sam let out a growl.

"Hurry up Dean," He hissed, his eyes traveling over the red stains on her arm. Seconds later, black dust flew from her mouth and the body in his arms went limp. As soon as it was over, Sam dropped the body, blood smearing onto his hand as he did so. He stared down at the bundle of brunnette hair that surrounded his feet, the scent of demon blood filing his nostrils.

"Sam," Cas stated, landing a hand on his shoulder. Sam looked down at his angel who peered back with brilliant blue eyes full of faith. Sam gave a weak smile, focusing on those blue eyes. 

"Dean, will you get rid of her?" Castiel asked. There was a slight pause before Dean answered.

"Yeah sure." He replied, Sam had no idea what he did next, he just knew that Cas pulled him away, cleaned the blood from his hand and took care of him.

"You did good Samuel," Cas stated, running one hand through Sam's hair. Sam peered up at him.

"I still want it, still crave it." Sam breathed, his hands shaking as he held onto his angel.

"You will until the detox has passed." Castiel told him.

"Detox?" Sam asked, peering up at Castiel. Cas nodded.

"You will detox from this just as you would alcohol or drugs. There will be withdrawls and pains." Cas informed Sam, running his fingers through Sam's long locks. "It's best we keep you somewhere safe where nothing can hurt you."

"Bobby's." Dean said instantly.

"I agree. We need to get you there as soon as possible." Castiel murmured, looking over at Dean who just nodded.

"I'll go call Bobby." Dean stated. Castiel nodded, watching as Dean left. He turned his attention back to Sam, leaning down and brushing his lips lightly along his.

"Do not fear Samuel," Castiel stated comfortingly, "We will get through this together." Cas assured him. Sam nodded, looking up at Cas.

"I know," He whispered softly, kissing the angel back. "I love you Cas."

"I love you as well," Castiel returned, perching himself on Sam's lap, "Everything will be fine." He murmured, Sam's replied muffled by the kiss Castiel placed onto his lips. They stayed like that for a long moment before Castiel pulled back.

"Dean is coming back. Bobby's agreed." Castiel stated, a far off look in his eyes. "We should get ready to go." He said, standing up. Sam nodded, doing the same as Dean walked in.

"We can be at Bobby's in a day and a half." He told them.

"We don't have that long." Castiel said, frowning. "I can get Sam there faster. You meet us there." Castiel suggested, Dean looked between Cas and Sam for a moment before nodding.

"Fine." He mumbled in agreement, nodding.

"Let's go."


	4. If I Should Die Before I Wake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Sam is going through withdrawls, Dean finds out some hard news about a long time friend.

By the time Dean had pulled up the black 67 Impala into the drive way, Castiel had Sam tied down to the small bed in the bucker. Dean sighed, taking a moment to collect himself. before pushing open the door and stretching his long legs out of the Impala car and onto Bobby's front porch where he was met by the familiar face a brunette.

"Hey D." Kate greeted softly. "Cas said to expect you."

"Hey Kate." Dean murmured softly, offering a tired, weak smile as he hugged the girl.

"Sam's down in the bunker with Cas and Bobby. Their waiting for you to close it up." She told him, stepping aside and he just nodded.

"When your done there is beer in the fridge and fresh made apple pie." She told him.

"Thanks." He murmured, nodding lightly as she led him into the house and then went on while he went down the steps to the bunker where Sam would be spending the nexxt couple of days.

"You sure this is going to work?" He asked as soon as he saw Bobby and Cas.

"This will work." Cas stated plainly, "I wil stay with him until he is completely recovered. Though while down here I will not have my full angel abilities, I will not be able to come if you need me."

"We'll make do. Just take care of him." Dean murmured, looking down at Sam.

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here." Sam growled.

"The withdrawls are already starting." Cas stated. "We need to get him locked down soon."

"Give me a minute." Dean mumbled, looking over at Cas who nodded. Bobby and Cas left the room.

"Dean let me go," Sam begged, looking up at Dean wide eyed.

"No." Dean said simply. "This is for you own good Sam." He mumbled, frowning. "Everything's going to be fine. I'll see you when you get out."

"Dean!" Sam shouted to Dean's retreating back as he walked out of the room and down the hall, listening as Bobby shut the door on the angel and the hunter.

"Great. Now we're down three hunters." Bobby mumbled, shaking his head.

"Three?" Dean asked as they walked up they walked up the stairs. Bobby just grunted as they walked into the kitchen.

"What do you mean we're three hunter's down?" Dean demanded as he headed to the fridge, where Kate was standing.

"Bobby!" Kate hissed, glaring at the hunter. "You weren't supose to say anything."

"I didn't say nothin'. Just stated a fact." Bobby replied. Dean frowned, looking at Kate.

"What's going on?" He asked, reaching into the fridge and grabbing a beer.

"I'm retiring." Kate mumbled, looking at he table, making Dean's eyes widened.

"What? Why?" Dean demanded.

"I thought you'd be happy about it." Kate mumbled.

"Yeah, of course, but it just doesn't sound like you." He mumbled, sitting beside her at the table.

"It doesn't matter." SHe shrugged back.

"Your not going to tell him?" Bobby demanded.

"Bobby shut up." Kate murmured, shifting a litle.

"Don't come into my house, drink my beer and eat my food and tell me to shut up! He deserves to know!" Bobby returned.

"Know what? Will someone tell me what he hell is going on here?" Dean demanded. Kate cursed, slamming her own beer down on the table.

"I'm sick. And I'm going to die." She snapped, glaring at Bobby. "Happy?" She demanded, standing up and walked out. Dean just sat there in silence for a moment, processing the information before standing up and going off to find Kate.

"Your dying?" He asked when he found her sitting on the porch swing.

"Don't want to talk about it." Kate mumbled.

"Kate, you can't just drop a bomb like that and then not talk about!" Dean growled.

"It's nothing important." She said, shaking her head.

"Damn it KAte talk to me. How bad is it?" He demanded, sitting next to her.

"It's complicated." She murmured, shaking her head.

"What is it?" Dean questioned and Kate sighed lightly.

"Pretty much, I'm a screw up D." Kate murmured softly. "My body isn't making enough seratonine or whatever." She explained.

"Which means what?" Dean questioned.

"Which means.I'm fucked." Kate snapped back."I have these seizures. Their hell. THey start out small and get worse and worse." SHe murmured.

"Can't you take something for it?" Dean questioned.

"I am. For now. I've got pills that I have to take."

"Okay. So then, I'm not getting the dead part." He mumbled.

"Eventually,the pills won't be enough. And I'll have one big seizure and there won't be anything they can do." Kate mumbled.

"There's gotta be something." Dean whispered softly. Kate had become like a sister to Dean and Sam the past couple of years, Dean couldn't imagine loosig her.

"We've checked everything. There's nothing." Kate murmured softly "I'm sorry. I was going to tell you, but I wanted to wait until the crap with Sam was over."

How long have you known?" Dean murmured softly.

"Three years." Kate mumbled, looking down and Dean's widened.

"Three years? The whole time you've been here?" Dean demanded, anger rising a little in his voice.

"I didn't think it was that big of a deal." Kate mumbled. Dean wasn't quiet sure how to respond.

"I...I need to take a walk." Dean mumbled, standing up, hands shoving into his pocket.

"I'm sorry D." Kate murmured, Dean just shook his head, ignoring Kate as he stepped off the front porch and made his way to the small brush of woods ahead of him, his mind whirling as the idea that he could lose two of people he loved most hit him.


	5. I Pray Castiel My Soul To Keep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean learns the truth about Katherine's condition.

Dean walked in circles for hours, his conversation with Kate slowly sinking in. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't talk to Sam or Cas. Kate obviously had already made up her mind. He rubbed his face, thinking of one other option.

"Balthazar?" He spoke the name without hesitation. "Look. I know we're not the best of friends or whatever-" Dean stopped, grunting a little. What was he suppose to say? Balthazar wouldn't care. Not about his problems. Dean let out a string of curses, planting himself against a tree and sliding down it until he was near crouching.

"Language, language Deano." A familiar English voice broke the silence of the clearing, making Dean jump, "Honestly, with a mouth like that I'm surprised your not a regular Shakespeare."

"What're you doing here?" Dean demanded, staring at the blonde headed angel in shock.

"Well you called didn't you?" The angel asked, rolling his eyes.

"I didn't think you'd answer." Dean admitted, frowning.

"Well, I'm assuming that there is only one reason that you would call me." The angel stated. "This is about Kate yes?"

"You know Kate?" Dean asked, eyes widened.

"We've chatted, yes." Balthazat stated as if it were nothing.

"Why're you hanging around Kate?" Dean demanded protectively.

"Oh calm your cockles boy." Balthazar said, raising his hands defensively, "I'm not shagging her."

"What?" Dean asked, eyes widening. 

"Oh please, don't play stupid." Balthazar sighed, "Your little crush on each other is obvious. Adorable, in a sickening kind of way."

"I don't know what your talking about." Dean mumbled, frowning.

"Then why did you call?" Balthazar demanded, rolling his eyes.

"It's about Kate." Dean confirmed.

"And her condition." Balthazar finished for him. "For which there's nothing I can do."

"What the hell do mean there's nothing you can do?" Dean growled out, "You're suppose to be a fucking angel!"

"Do I have to keep reminding you of the language Deano?" Balthazar asked, frowning. "Look, if I heal Katherine now, then it will only be worse later."

"What do you mean worse?" He repeated, glaring at the angel.

"Terminal cancer, a horrible freak accident a few months down the road." Balthazar explained. "She is marked Dean. At least this way, she gets to live longer and die peacefully."

"You call that peaceful?" Dean growled out.

"More peaceful the most get on this ungrateful planet." Balthazar nodded.

"So what the hell am I suppose to do?" Dean demanded, wincing at the sound of Sam's sudden screams that could be heard even way out in the woods where he was.

"For starters, you could try setting a side that whole bravado thing, grow a pair and tell the girl how you really feel." Balthazar stated. Dean made a little grunting noise, as if he didn't approve of that. He stared at the ground hard, not saying a word. He could feel the empty space where Balthazar no longer sat, so there was no need for words, only images.

Dean remembered clearly the first day he met Katherine. She'd broken in to Bobby's place. Sam and Dean had been the only ones there at the time. She and Dean had fought for a while before she managed to run off and then they'd ran into each other working a case. Dean liked her from the beginning. She was fiery, fierce and unafraid. He guess he understood that now. What was there to really fear when you knew you were dying? 

Everyone seemed to welcome Kate instantly, even Castiel. Dean could often find the two whispering in a corner somewhere, though he never managed to find out about what. Dean stared out into space for a long time, trying to decide what to do next. He sighed hard, rubbing his face before standing up and stalking back towards the house. Kate was where he'd left her, perched on the porch, a frown darkening her face, making her look ancient and warrior like, Dean thought. He stopped just before the staircase, looking up at her, unsure what to stay.

"Ready for some pie?" Katherine questioned, finally breaking the silence. Dean just swallowed hard and with out a word, he nodded, stepping past Kate and into the house.


	6. If I should Live For Other Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel finds a way to save Sam.

Castiel did it mostly out of desperation. Mostly because he could feel it.

He could feel the heat boiling in Sam's veins, threatening to win the battle between demon and human. And most of all, he could see.  
He could see the images floating through the youngest Winchester's head, the barrage of torment, the anguish of every failure Sam thought he was responsible for.He could hear the voices, Jessica, Mary, Samuel, John and Dean. Most of all Dean. 

And it was killing Sam, because of that, it was killing Castiel. So Castiel had did it, mostly out of desperation. To save Sam. Because that was his only purpose now. Sam. Leaning forward, he kissed Sam's forehead, a silent promise he would fix everything. After all, it had to work didn't it?

So he raised his hand, his wrist brushing against the open form of Sam's lips, the lips perched in an 'o' shape that drove Castiel crazy, even in their current predicament. He balled his fists up, offering two words, a prayer of forgiveness.

Forgive me. He offered, to a man who wasn't there in the room, but was. To the man he could feel, squirming inside of him and almost certainly, he was sure he heard an audible response. Jimmy. The name that had repeatedly naggingly at the back of his mind for some time now, he could feel Jimmy squirming inside him, still holding on through everything that Castiel had put him through, including Sam, which Castiel was certain Jimmy disproved of. So, forgive me, he begged silently, fist held above Sam's mouth, but I have to save him.

I know, Jimmy replies, or so Castiel thinks he does and he can almost hear the broken smile in the humans willing body, go ahead.

And with that final confirmation Castiel does it, out of desperation, he does it. He watches as a thin line of red glints from his-Jimmy's white skin, watching as it grows and grows and gets deeper before the line of blood is trailing down his wrist and he holds it above Sam's head as the beads of the angelic blood spills upon Sam's lips and then into his mouth.

Sam seems to wake at the touch, responding to the blood flowing into his mouth. His previously closed hazel eyes flash open, his mouth widens, begging for more. And Castiel gives it to him, gives him as much as he can, because Castiel has to save him. He runs one hand through Sam's hair, brushing the long locks from the hunter's face as he drinks, muttering sweet nothings to the one below him, to the hazel eyes now focused on his own blue ones and he frowns because the there is a look in the hazel eyes he has fallen into for the past year and a half, a look he can not quite read.

A look of fear and worry is in Sam's eyes because he can see the desperation in Castiel's and that scares him, mostly because he doesn't remember. The faces from the nightmare are blurred, blurred by the sweet taste of heaven in his mouth as he sucks his lover's wrist and he's confused. Because what the hell is he doing sucking on Castiel's wrist? But his thoughts are answered when Castiel pulls back and presses a kiss to his forehead and says:

"I had to." He stated, "I had to save you Samuel."


End file.
